the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
