it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
