even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
