how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
