dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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