I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
