Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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