peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
