it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
