He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
