went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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