No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is Oprah even human
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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