Do you still have your period?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
