State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have aggressive nipples.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
