Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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