why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
