Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
