More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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