you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
