bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Operation Purity has been aborted
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
