So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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