well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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