I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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