I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
