you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
