Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
