I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
