I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
