Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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