Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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