Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My breath smells like gin and sadness
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
