singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
