I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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