At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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