So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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