wrigley field is MILF paradise
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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