I just cut my nipple shaving
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
