i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
