I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
