So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
