Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
