I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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