Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
as a side note pls kill me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
