i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
