I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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