I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Congratulations! We have a period
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
