so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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