I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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