she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
