Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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